Questions of the Day

Boy 1: Are there any magnifying glasses in here? I wanna look at my dried blood.

Me: Um, it's dry. And no, there aren't.

Boy 1: But maybe it will still be moving around, trying not to dry.

Me: (Squashing cool idea) I don't think so. Open your book to page 6.

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Me: Could you treat me with the same respect you treated your dad yesterday?

Boy 3: You want me to call you my dad?

Me: No. You were really great yesterday when your parents visited and I'm asking if you could respect me like you did your dad.

Boy 3: OK. Can I have some candy, Dad?

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Boy 1: I have a question.

Me: Yes?

Boy 1: What's your favorite NFL team?

Me: Well [Boy 1], I don't really have one. What's your favorite team?

Boy 1: Well it was [sadly, I have forgotten which team he told me first. That's how bad I am about knowing the NFL] but now I'm thinking it's the Eagles because [again, I have forgotten the name he told me] is with them. 

Me: That's cool. [The only reason I remembered Eagles is because Boy 1 took off his coat and he was wearing an Eagles jersey with the name Eagles on it].

{later}

So the light saber pencil returned and I told Boy 1 that this wasn't Jedi class.

Boy 1: I'm Sith.

Me: Oh. Well this isn't Sith class. [Meanwhile Boy 2 and Boy 3 are using the metal tabs in their folders to make jumps for their pencils to roll down. Then Boy 2 makes his into a catapult to try and put the pencil back in the pencil basket.]

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Boy 1: Did you see the back of my head?

Me: No.

Boy 1 turns around: It's the Batman symbol. [Shaved into the back of his head.]

Me: So do you shine a light on your head and Batman comes? [he wasn't impressed with my humor].