Where No Toddler Has Gone Before

Geddy recently discovered the book on the back of the toilet. I mean, doesn't everyone have that book? The one that keeps a man in the bathroom for hours, even if you told him before he went in there that dinner would be ready in two minutes? In our house that book is one about "Star Trek: The Next Generation." Within its pages lies a compelling read discussing the show's creation and a 7-season detailed episode guide.

Naturally, since Geddy is male and since he wants to do everything his daddy does—such as play guitar, build with LEGO, tickle Mommy, and watch "Star Trek" shows (he seems to favor the original series lately, because of Spock)—he wanted to start reading this book every time he used the potty. Every time. Flipping through the pages of this book is now part of his routine. It gives new meaning to the term "potty talk". Wipe, and flush, and recite "Star Trek" trivia. A normal trip to the bathroom now goes something like this:

Geddy: "Read Star Trek?

Me: "OK." I get the book and hold it in front of him. Then I start pointing to characters in the pictures. Identifying Data and Captain Picard comes easily for Geddy.

Me: "Who's this?"

Geddy: "Data. Yes!"

Me: "Who's this?"

Geddy: "Captain icard. Yes!"

Me: "Who's this?"

Geddy: "Um. Let's see."

Me: "Riker."

Geddy: "Yeah! Riker."

We do this through each group photo we come across. Geddy now does well recognizing Geordi and Worf too. And if I don't quiz him on the characters, he gets upset. He's very disciplined about it. The only trouble is that he often won't pee and read at the same time.

One day Geddy trotted into the bathroom and got a shock: the Star Trek book wasn't there. I didn't want to go see where Luke had put it, so I said it was gone and Geddy should just go ahead and pee. Well, that took some time. The book had its place and it needed to return. A day or two later, Geddy, having had nothing to do while he sat on the toilet but wad up toilet paper and try to make a basket between his legs, needed another book. He tried one of his board books with the planes and helicopters, but that was just over too quickly. To his delight, he found the book he desired on the nightstand next to Daddy's side of the bed. He insisted it go back in the bathroom at once.

So there it is. If you are trying to get ahold of me, I'll probably be kneeling on the floor pleading with my son to just go already while he smiles and points to pictures, learning Dr. Crusher, Wesley, Guinan, and Counselor Troi. I just hope this isn't how he wants to study kindergarten.

                                          photo credit: Amazon