Luke and I started having a discussion last night about all those phrases our parents used to say–and still do–and that all well-meaning people say but that are totally unnecessary phrases if you think about it. I mean, yes, I say them all the time just because that's what we say. As if we believe that we MUST say these words or the worst of the worst will happen. But seriously. Think about it.
Drive safe! (Well I was going to crash into a tree, but you're right I should stay safe.)
Don't burn yourself! (OK, now that you mention it, I will NOT stick my hand into this pot of boiling water.)
Don't cut yourself! (Really? I was going to chop off part of my finger and put it in the salad, but you know, maybe I won't do that now.)
To a shy or introverted child: Don't talk to strangers! (Mom, I don't talk to people I know, but I was going to go up to that man with the puppy and candy and tell him my name, phone number, and address. Now I'm having second thoughts.)
To a teenage daughter: Have a good time at the party! (But all my friends will be there! OK, you're right; I should just enjoy it.)
Don't knock it over! (But I really wanted to spill grape juice on the carpet and get grounded! Fine. I'll drink it instead.)
Don't trip! (It's so tempting to just bust my toe and fall on my face, but I guess I could find something better to do.)
Don't slip! (But that's the best part about walking on ice across a busy street with cars driven by people who drive as if they don't know that it's winter!)
Don't fall off the roof! (But I was hoping to so that I wouldn't have to clean out the gutters.)
Don't cut your arm off! (But it would be so much more fun to spend the day in the ER instead of trimming the shrubs with a chainsaw!) (Our house not long ago.)
Don't forget to always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident! (Cause otherwise just go ahead and wear the same pair for three days. But really, how will I keep it clean once I've been in the accident?)
Don't poke your eye out! (Classic.)
I'm sure we will tell Geddy some of these advice gems and then slap ourselves for being like our parents, but for now the only one I'm really telling Geddy is:
Don't let the milk come out your nose!
He's in the habit lately of getting very distracted while eating and he often likes to bend over backwards on my lap and look around and see if Daddy or anyone is watching him. He loves attention. (Not sure he will be shy, so the talking to strangers bit will be useful.)
Once, not long after he had eaten, he was on the floor on his back and I was up by his head. He tilted his head back to look at me and then spit up. He was soon sputtering and coughing and milk was streaming out his nose. His eyes were watering. I freaked and quickly turned him on his side and then picked him up, expecting him to cry and be very upset. What did he do next? He laughed! Silly Mommy! Having it come out my nose gets me lots of attention!