The third trimester starts somewhere around now, and I reflect over the course of this pregnancy. The last few months didn't pass over like swooping swallows. They didn't linger like slugs in the driveway. This pregnancy, neither speedy nor plodding, just goes along its way. With nausea over and only mild current discomforts I sometimes get busy with work or daily life happenings and forget to think about my current state. Of course any scary story of pregnancy complications sends me to the internet and gets me thinking a little TOO much about what is- or might be- going on inside of me. And of course, too, Bump usually reminds me of Bump's presence. If Bump forgets to remind me, then I suddenly remember with great panic and hold my belly, maybe gently poke it, and wait for the reassuring nudge right back. Then all is well, I'm pregnant again, I smile and allow myself the extra bowl of ice cream, and I think about all things baby.
Lately when I sit beside wiggly six and seven-year-olds, I have a different sort of panic as I realize that Bump won't stay a baby forever. Bump won't even stay Bump forever. (Well, maybe, whether he or she likes it or not; nicknames do have a way of lingering). Bump will be five, six, and seven. I sometimes find that I want to study my students, like specimens under a microscope. I can't do that with Bump or my poor child will get some sort of complex. Anyway, the point is, I adore five, six, and seven. But they don't stay forever either.
Naturally, I don't want to stay pregnant forever and I won't want Bump to stay one age forever. I just alarm myself with these truths. Then I find comfort again.
It's like the sun peaking out this weekend. A blessing after our surprising cold, dark, and snowy January. I like dark and snowy, but I didn't want it to last all winter. Or maybe I just didn't want winter to last all winter. But, now, as I look out our window, I see the sun sneaking away again. Then I remember how much I dislike day after day after day of incessant blinding sun and heat in the summer. Yep. I'm OK with changes. I just need to enjoy every moment that takes shape before it passes away for good.