One could go on and on forever talking about anything, but I'll just touch on it here.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Letter to My Husband's Ex: Thank You for Changing Your Mind

Dear ______,

Wow, you let HIM go? Yeah, I know; life doesn't always go as planned. And people change. Or they don't change. Because of your decision, though, some happiness came my way that I hadn't counted on. This is my story, that strangely would and could never have happened if not for you.


I never wanted to get married. Fairy tales and love stories sounded beautiful and made my heart happy, but the lovey-dovey stuff just wasn't in my stars. My dreams included independence—doing amazing things around the world but doing them by myself. As a child I wanted to devote my life to animals. People, with the exception of my family, came secondary.

Close friendships began to show me that people weren't so bad. Then, as I entered the working world, I discovered that children had a lot in common with animals and needed a voice, a champion, so I started devoting my life to them. I was growing in God and realizing that I shouldn't just sweep people under the rug. Still, falling in love was far from my mind—no frog-kissing in my future.

*photo credit: Jennifer Barnard (Creative Commons)

One day, as I was getting ready to launch into a new zone of Save-the-Children / I-am-awesome-on-my-own, I remember telling God that hey, maybe life would be fulfilling going on the way I was (especially since I wasn't rejecting people so much and thinking only of myself) but if there was someone out there who could spark a little fire inside and be my partner on this planet, I could dig it.

Then along came someone from my past. Someone I NEVER expected. Someone who hadn't been in my thoughts and who hadn't been AVAILABLE. (Someone YOU, dear ex, had decided to leave). I think I told God something like this.

     "UM, excuse me. Remember that little conversation we had? Yeah, ha ha ha. I was kidding. You can't have someone fall in love with me. It's just not a good idea. I don't think I have that kind of love in me."

Time went by, however, and this guy became a close friend. I realized I could TRUST him. He brought out the LAUGHTER in me. He was a great LISTENER. I wanted to be with him. Then, the following started.

Yes, it was gradual. I don't rush into anything. But I liked it. I fell in LOVE. Did my dreams change? Did I stop being me? No. I simply ADDED TO MY STORY. I chose to KEEP this guy, and HE CHOSE ME. We each had a hand to hold and the desire to support each other.

Suddenly life had MORE. I gained a(n):

Rockstar                                             engineer        
                         idea man                                                                 builder
     storyteller                      computer genius (aka lovable NERD)      

 walking encyclopedia                 comedian                                              giver

                                      chef                     gardener                     FRIEND OF GOD

What a wonderful gift from God is my husband.


So thank you for changing your mind. Does that sound rotten of me? Am I gloating in your loss? THAT'S NOT MY AIM. Please believe that I want the same happiness and joy that you once had to bless your path again. No, I want BETTER for you.

My story isn't the only one that has goodness and beauty grow after ugly destruction. Does the horrible storm have to happen for the rainbow to shine? What do I know? Is everything all planned out and we just move along as we are programmed to do? I don't believe so. We make choices. $#*% happens. We decide what to do with it. Wallow in it, burn it, bury it, or use it as fertilizer for something GRAND.

* Photo Credit: Jennifer Barnard

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